some new stuff

Hi friends! I've gotten asked by several of you about what's going on in my world as of late, so I figured I probably should start being a better blogger. :O) That means...duh duh duh...update time. And then, hopefully, I will get back on the blogging bandwagon. So, here goes.

As you know (or hopefully know?), I moved to Maryland at the end of the summer following my 2 month stint in Uganda. I won't bore you with those details (the Maryland details), but let's just say...it's not for me. So, I am in the process of moving back to Nashville. I'm anticipating making the move in the month of March, but not quite sure exactly WHEN...probably towards the end of the month.

I've already found a GREAT place to live in East Nashville...just have to work out those pesky details such as figuring out how to afford two rents at the same time for a couple of months, leaving my job here, finding a job in Nashville, and moving all my crap across country once again. But, if you know me, you know I'm up for the challenge. Although not exactly happy and/or excited about the move itself since I just moved. SUPER excited to get back to Nashville, though!

My current work already knows I am going to be moving and has been incredible about giving me the time to figure things out. So, I am now just trying to figure out how to get a job in Nashville in this wrecked economy. (If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears!). I could most definitely use your prayers as I walk through this crazy time. Personally, it's been a very challenging time. But, I realize that God is bigger than the small things going on in my life and I am continually reminded of His grace and provision...and joy.

One of the coolest things about this past month is the amount of time I have been able to spend with my family. I realize that I may never have the opportunity to spend this amount of time with my parents again and it's been really fun. Having the new puppy has made my life crazy, as well, but it has forced me to depend on others for help, which I'm not always excited to do. So, I wouldn't trade this time for anything.

Anyway, that's the somewhat quick update. Moving to Nashville, need a job, if you want to send money, I'm ok with that. Haha. :O)

Obviously, as I get more things figured out, I will keep you posted!

something really cool.

In a couple of weeks, I will be back in Atlanta (yippee! I will get my dog back!) for work and play. It's great that I can visit Atlanta now for work...although a bit weird?!

Anyway, tangent. So, I will be back in Atlanta. While I'm there, I am going to be taking part in a 3 day Refugee Simulation through World Relief. Our Atlanta office has been running these for a few years and I've heard really great things about them. Basically, it allows the participant to step in the shoes (as much as can be possible) of a refugee resettling in the U.S. We will essentially be refugees for 3 days. We will be treated as refugees, eat as refugees, and live with refugee families. SIGN ME UP. I am not naive and know that I'm not going to be staying at the Hilton and getting room service, but I am very anxious to walk the path of another. After working with refugees in Nashville and being in Africa this past year, I know the situations and conditions that many face when relocating to our country. It will be good to see it again, though, and LEARN how we can make this process easier. How we can serve our brothers and sisters better...love them better...care for them better. Sometimes all it takes is someone saying, "I know how you feel. Let's figure this out."

So, I can't wait to figure it out.

Anyone in Atlanta wanna join in? It costs a little bit of money, but would be completely worth it. Just let me know.

I was reminded...

A friend sent this to me last week and I just happened to open the email and see it this morning...

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

A good reminder to me this morning that I will rejoice in the Lord, no matter my circumstances, no matter my uncertainty. The thing I always take away from being in Africa is the joy that people have despite their lack of material goods...despite their lack of a "future" in the sense of what we consider a future here in the US. I need to remember that joy...it is a joy rooted in God, my Savior.

What a long journey...

...from Africa to the USA. This time two weeks ago, I was actually in a taxi in Zanzibar frantically driving to the ATM trying to get money out to pay our taxi driver. Wow. Hard to believe what can happen in two weeks time. Let me recap since I've been a slacker:

- Zanzibar Island (which was amazing...make sure you check out my pictures)
- Back to Uganda for 2 days to pack up and say goodbye (miss you Renee, Jeff & Christine...amazing how you can make such great connections with people in such a short time)
- Back to Atlanta via Amsterdam (Big Mac for breakfast in Amsterdam)
- Spent some GREAT time with the Duke House roomies for 5 days. They loved on me and spoiled me rotten. I managed to play Rock Band every day for ridiculous amounts of time. Also got to visit a lot of friends from my "old job" at Buckhead/North Point. (That's weird to say!!!) Kicked it with the Passion peeps for a bit, too. I guess it doesn't really seem like former anything when those people are like family to you.
- Made the long drive to Maryland to spend an extended time with the family in Aberdeen. Which is where I am right now.

So, I'll stop bullet-pointing everything now. :O) I'm currently sitting on the bed in my room at my parents' house. It is one of 2 air-conditioned rooms in the house. Comes in handy for the days and nights when the heat index soars into the 100's. Delightful. Midi (Schmoo Bear) is passed out on the bed next to me, pretty much taking up the whole bed....she will get booted to the side here in a bit when I go to sleep.

I guess I wanted to blog because I hadn't in a while and this is one of the first times I've been able to actually blog from the site and not the old blackberry. Yes, I went and stood in line for 4 hours and bought the new iPhone 3G. Everyone knew I would, so I'm sure no one is really surprised. I'm just BUMMED SERIOUSLY to find out AT&T didn't update their international plan. So, I STILL can't use the stupid thing in Uganda. Freakin A, AT&T. We are going to have a go-around about this!!!!

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to blog about. A lot of you know that I'm in this state of "what am I doing with my life?" Just so you know, that hasn't changed. If anything, I'm more than ever at the point where I feel like I should fall on my face and say, "Jesus, I need You right now." And, that's what I'm doing. But, to be honest, I don't even know what to pray for. I came to a realization tonight that I am at a really selfish point in my life. I am selfish in my desires to want to try and understand my life, understand where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to do, and on and on and on. I know I'm not alone in this. I know we all go through this time in our lives...and probably more than once. So, I know I must turn to Scripture and turn to prayer.

I was listening to a favorite song...it's a song that became a favorite this past year and is very familiar in the Passion family. Part of it says,

"Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause,
As I walk from earth into eternity."

Everything I am...how I long to say that and yet how so far away I am. I feel broken, but not broken to the point where I feel like I can be molded. I feel completely useless and completely selfish, yet want to overcome so that my brokenness is no longer a selfish place of wanting, but a selfless place of complete hope in Jesus.

And so here I sit in Maryland. I am headed to Nashville this Friday for 6 days to reconnect with friends and do some potential job hunting. I'm also not closing any doors in Atlanta. Just trying to be open to whatever God might show me. My heart knows that I don't need to be "perfect" for God to use me. My head just needs to get back into the groove. I have a few books that I'm hoping will jump start my thinking. I'm such a thinker that is continually over-thinking, over-analyzing everything that it will be good to make my mind go through the paces. I could just use some prayer, though, as I struggle through this time.

Sorry for the long post...and for the stream of consciousness crap....if you even read this far, I should send you a blow-pop. :O)

What a difference...

I have succumbed to the Ugandan upper class life for the evening. It is glorious. And a huge difference from my normal routine here...what a strange world. Do we have this kind of extreme in the US? I can't think of any place that we do...third world poverty mixed with extreme wealth and foreign influence. Weird. And here I am contributing to it. And not feeling the least bit guilty. Maybe I'm not REALLY cut out for third world living. I love the work I'm doing, though. Just like my A/C.

Anyway, I am enjoying the big family at the next table who is trying to pray and a young child is yelling through the prayer...they are all laughing...guess some things are universal. :o)

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

the decision to upgrade for the night

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

thank you maglite for making the candlestick end of your flashlight!

I am bored out of my mind hence the 50 posts today. I am also getting attacked by mosquitos, despite being under my net and having spray on!!!

Got power back for 20 minutes and the it went back out. Still nothing. And now my ipod is getting ready to bite it. When the blackberry goes, don't be frightened by the scream from your east.

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

no power still = laundry day

Laundry is quite a feat in a third world country. I will post more about that on my other blog later. But, with power out, it gives me plenty of time to do it. Now, I'm washing bathmats that probably haven't been washed since they were purchased...if the smell is any indication. This might take 3 or 4 "loads".
----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

a visual for my previous post

This will give you an idea of my state of mind right now. Plus, I'm wearing yellow (thanks passion kampala), which is never good for the complexion.

Now, I return to crazyville.
----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

a test of my sanity

So, let me recap:

- I was at my friends house last night and got locked in. We were finally able to get out of the house, but could never get the gate opened. Its hard to explain...padlocks, barbed wire, two separate people with the remote and keys had left (not the smartest plan, in my book). Anyway...I ended up having to spend the night there. No biggie...they have a bunch of extra beds cause its a guest house.

- Woke up this morning and power was out at their place. No biggie. It happens all the time here. It happened in the middle of us fixing perch pasta last night. You deal.

- I headed through the now wide open gate and made my way down the back road that connects our places. Its a 5 minute walk and the storm clouds were rolling in. I thought it would be a good day to read and watch DVDs.

- Upon arriving at my own "hotel" (where things are mysteriously moved around in my room when I'm gone...and probably missing, too), I find that we are also without power. No biggie. It happens. You deal. Anticipating it back on within the hour or two, I pop in a DVD and drain the Macbook battery.

- 5 hours later, I am laying here under my mosquito net (because I'm pretty sure they are on a mission to kill me...the mosquitos) and STILL without power. Argh!!!

- I read for a little bit, but its dark in here and my travel light gives me a headache after a while. I also tried napping, but its really loud here and quite humid and stuffy without the ELECTRIC fan going.

- I have a bunch of stuff to work on, but need to charge my computer to do it. I would go into town, but I would end up getting gross and muddy if I left and the nice hotels wouldn't want me!

So, here I lay...under my net...losing my sanity! At least I can blog about it!

Tow truck

A land rover tow truck...awesome. Bebo would appreciate this...
----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

Road maintenance in Uganda

Using a broom to sweep the dirt off the road.
----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

I wish you could see the stars.

I am sitting outside getting ready to have a bite to eat and just happened to look up. Those of you that have been here, understand. The stars. Wow. I wish I could take a picture of them, but it never comes out. So, I guess this one is all for me...

And, on a completely different note...just because someone speaks english does not mean we will understand each other. My waitress has come back 4 times to ask me about the "red wine" I ordered. I didn't ask for a specific kind. Just red, to make it easier. So, this is funny to me. If she comes back again empty-handed, I will laugh. Ok...here she comes. Wine glass in hand. Shoo. And, its a good South African. Nice.

Time to relax and enjoy this amazing weather under a very starry sky. 'Night.
----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

tea for Nic

The tea that we have at the school is good...tastes like my chai/rooibos blend. You just put loose leaves in the hot water, though, and let them settle and then drink. I've gotten used to it and actually look forward to my morning tea!!! So, here's to sharing a cup of tea with you when you get up...in like 5 hours! :o). Hope you get a good Schmoo lick and Pelly snuggle!

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

My summer job...

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

sporadic internet, but check this out...

Hi friends!!! For once, I'm not posting from my blackberry...woo hoo! I happened to get sporadic internet at the Bible Institute...yipppppppeeeee!!!! :O)

I wanted to post this link from Passion Kampala, because the pictures are amazing (and I'm actually in one...the group shot...see if you can find me...)...so, go here to check them out!

K, that's it for this post...wanted to make sure it posted before I lost the connection. I'll post more in a bit when I know I have a solid thing happening here!

Having an incredible meal with our friends!

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

My home

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

My first day in Ggaba...

Well, I am emailing my blog in from the blackberry since there is no sign of internet at the guest house (not surprising!). I may have it tomorrow at the Bible Institute, so hopefully will be able to connect better at that point. The fact that I can even connect AT ALL is pretty incredible, I suppose!!!

Today, I have been lazy!!! I didn't get out of bed until almost 3:30! I read some, but I actually slept most of the time. Wow! I was tired! Guess that's what the past 19 days (well, make that past 3 months) did to me. Completely worth it (hopefully I will get to upload the blog I wrote yesterday sometime soon that will better explain that).

I'm going to walk out for a bit and see my surroundings. Tomorrow, I will walk down the paved road a bit until it ends, go past the cows and chickens, and then look for the church and college. Ha ha. That's awesome. I'm sure I will get lost at some point, but I have plenty of numbers and know a bunch of people here now. A bunch of our US Passion volunteers are even staying at the guesthouse right now. I think they are rafting the Nile today. I am planning on doing that at some point, just had NO energy for it at this point...would have surely been crocodile meat. (No, Malaine, I won't tell you when I go.) ;o)

Alright, I am hungry. And since there isn't a McDonalds nearby, I will be eating a Clif bar or seeing what kind of Ugandan food I can find.

Later!

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy

Tour part 3

And the bathroom. No shower curtain, but who cares. I have my own bathroom!!!! Yippppeeeee!!!

Now I am going to put down my mosquito net, surf the tv and see what's on, read for all of 5 minutes, and go to sleep until tomorrow afternoon.

Lata.

----------------------------
michele bennett
im: thebizzle@mac.com
skype: digidazy