What a long journey...

...from Africa to the USA. This time two weeks ago, I was actually in a taxi in Zanzibar frantically driving to the ATM trying to get money out to pay our taxi driver. Wow. Hard to believe what can happen in two weeks time. Let me recap since I've been a slacker:

- Zanzibar Island (which was amazing...make sure you check out my pictures)
- Back to Uganda for 2 days to pack up and say goodbye (miss you Renee, Jeff & Christine...amazing how you can make such great connections with people in such a short time)
- Back to Atlanta via Amsterdam (Big Mac for breakfast in Amsterdam)
- Spent some GREAT time with the Duke House roomies for 5 days. They loved on me and spoiled me rotten. I managed to play Rock Band every day for ridiculous amounts of time. Also got to visit a lot of friends from my "old job" at Buckhead/North Point. (That's weird to say!!!) Kicked it with the Passion peeps for a bit, too. I guess it doesn't really seem like former anything when those people are like family to you.
- Made the long drive to Maryland to spend an extended time with the family in Aberdeen. Which is where I am right now.

So, I'll stop bullet-pointing everything now. :O) I'm currently sitting on the bed in my room at my parents' house. It is one of 2 air-conditioned rooms in the house. Comes in handy for the days and nights when the heat index soars into the 100's. Delightful. Midi (Schmoo Bear) is passed out on the bed next to me, pretty much taking up the whole bed....she will get booted to the side here in a bit when I go to sleep.

I guess I wanted to blog because I hadn't in a while and this is one of the first times I've been able to actually blog from the site and not the old blackberry. Yes, I went and stood in line for 4 hours and bought the new iPhone 3G. Everyone knew I would, so I'm sure no one is really surprised. I'm just BUMMED SERIOUSLY to find out AT&T didn't update their international plan. So, I STILL can't use the stupid thing in Uganda. Freakin A, AT&T. We are going to have a go-around about this!!!!

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to blog about. A lot of you know that I'm in this state of "what am I doing with my life?" Just so you know, that hasn't changed. If anything, I'm more than ever at the point where I feel like I should fall on my face and say, "Jesus, I need You right now." And, that's what I'm doing. But, to be honest, I don't even know what to pray for. I came to a realization tonight that I am at a really selfish point in my life. I am selfish in my desires to want to try and understand my life, understand where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to do, and on and on and on. I know I'm not alone in this. I know we all go through this time in our lives...and probably more than once. So, I know I must turn to Scripture and turn to prayer.

I was listening to a favorite song...it's a song that became a favorite this past year and is very familiar in the Passion family. Part of it says,

"Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause,
As I walk from earth into eternity."

Everything I am...how I long to say that and yet how so far away I am. I feel broken, but not broken to the point where I feel like I can be molded. I feel completely useless and completely selfish, yet want to overcome so that my brokenness is no longer a selfish place of wanting, but a selfless place of complete hope in Jesus.

And so here I sit in Maryland. I am headed to Nashville this Friday for 6 days to reconnect with friends and do some potential job hunting. I'm also not closing any doors in Atlanta. Just trying to be open to whatever God might show me. My heart knows that I don't need to be "perfect" for God to use me. My head just needs to get back into the groove. I have a few books that I'm hoping will jump start my thinking. I'm such a thinker that is continually over-thinking, over-analyzing everything that it will be good to make my mind go through the paces. I could just use some prayer, though, as I struggle through this time.

Sorry for the long post...and for the stream of consciousness crap....if you even read this far, I should send you a blow-pop. :O)

so, maybe it's time for an update...

I feel like I've been so busy lately that I haven't taken any time to really keep up with anybody, which is a dumb move on my part. So, at least I can do a quick update on my blog for those of you that I haven't actually gotten the chance to connect with lately!

Where to start? Let's just jump right in...

As of May 12, I will no longer be employed at Buckhead Church. After a little over a year of being here (and what an amazing year it has been!), I am moving on to pursue other opportunities. For the past couple of months, I've been working with the Passion World Tour team to help prepare for the upcoming tour which is set to kick off in Kyiv, Ukraine on May 16th. In addition to all the logistics I've been helping with, I'm also on the Ukraine team and helping with the Uganda team. So, on May 12, I jump on a plane for Kyiv.

From there, I will be headed to....Stockholm, London, Uganda...and then probably Kenya.

I have the opportunity to potentially spend some extended time in Kenya helping an organization called BrightPoint for Children. Details of what I will be doing are still in the works and the whole trip, itself, is subject to change based on their needs. But, what an amazing opportunity it is...I am anxiously awaiting and praying through everything that is ahead on the road before me. God has astounded me with dreams and desires that I did not know I could have!

So, I know that is such a "big picture" of what lies ahead...but, that's where I am right now. I'll keep you posted as I find out more of what is to come. A lot of other big changes are going on right now, too, so if you would "say a little prayer for me", I'd SO appreciate it. I'm ok with the not knowing...I just want to be sure I'm walking the path I'm supposed to be walking!

Oh, and thanks for all the compliments on the haircut...I'm still getting used to it. :O)

interesting movie

We're screening this movie at North Point this Tuesday around lunch time...looks pretty interesting. Let me know if you want to join us...anyone is welcome to join.

the joy of ping pong.

Or maybe what's NOT joyful about ping pong. LOSING. I don't like losing. Why? Because I have athletic ability and I HATE LOSING. That's why.

The downside to this whole Buckhead Church 2008 Ping Pong Open Tourney is that I haven't played ping pong in years...not since college. That was quite a while ago. So, to go into this tourney with no practice was tough. And I lost my first match at singles....although I did play potentially the best female ping ponger in the building. Go Susanne...make it happen!!! In doubles, we made it to the second round (although I wasn't even there for round 1....so, not sure what that says about my skills).

After playing the past couple of days, though, I've got the bug. I will be playing more...if I can find the time. Classic video of Jeff playing his match today...the people I work with are ridiculously fun and crazy.

what I see happening in my life.

Seems like a good day to reflect upon some things God is doing in my life...these are in no particular order and I can't guarantee they will make any sense to you or will have any depth whatsoever. That's my stipulation. :O)

(I am going to number them because I like lists. Lists make me feel like I am accomplishing things. I know, I'm ridiculous.) So, here goes:

1. When I finally realize that what is going on in my life and around me is not always about me...when I see things from a perspective beyond my own...THAT is the point when God tends to use me in the most perceptible of ways. It is in those moments when my brokenness is swept into the overwhelming mercy and grace of a Savior who is willing and waiting to redeem all people. It is like I become a channel for the work of God and I don't even realize that my hands are the ones doing the physical work because the work, itself, is not important inasmuch as what it is accomplishing and directing others towards. I don't mean to suggest, AT ALL, that I'm doing some great work or anything like that, but it's merely the idea that there are these slivers of moments when I actually get out of the way and stop trying to do things the way I think they should be done. That's when God uses me most efficiently and seemingly in my strengths.

2. I have always had a desire to explore something beyond the world I occupy. I think that's why I'm so comfortable with change and why I tend to seek it out (how many comments will I get about that?!). This past year, though, I decided to put my change bug to rest for a bit and truly seek first the kingdom of God. (After a few months, I decided that was not so easy to do. And then there came Kenya!!!) In all of this, though, I have come to realize that this change bug, this desire to explore...it's not a bad thing to seek as long as it's part of the "seek first HIS kingdom". When I truly lay down my desire to make things happen and figure out where my life is going, I see the most amazing adventure before me. God takes me places I would never have imagined going...territorial, spiritually, emotionally, relationally...

3. This past August, I managed to somehow start leading a small group through Buckhead Church. I wasn't planning on leading a group, only wanted to join one. But, obviously God had other plans in mind. Over the past 6 months, I have managed to walk alongside 5 incredibly wonderful and uniquely gifted women that I would never have met had I not said OK to leading a group. Somehow, beyond anything I could have ever done, we have managed to dig into each other's lives so quickly and so deeply that it amazes me every time we get together. Not only do we meet for our normal community group time, we also randomly just spend time together doing other things...I am incredibly blessed to have Lori, Christine, Katie, Rachelle, and Kristi in my life!

4. I really like toast for breakfast.

wanna go to Africa with me?

Alright, people. Here's your chance. I am leading 2 trips to Africa this year. One is in May to South Africa (most likely will be May 9-18 or 16-23) and the other is July 10-20 to Kenya.

The application deadline is Monday...I need more people on both trips.

The May trip to South Africa is a KidStuf Production trip, so I'm looking for people with either KidStuf or production experience (see how that works?). :O)

The July trip to Kenya will be a project trip to either help continue building an orphanage or to continue work in an existing 410 Bridge community (it's a partnership trip with North Point and 410 Bridge). This is the trip I am MOST excited about and would LOVE LOVE LOVE for everyone to join me on!!!

If you are interested in getting a bit more info, just click over to the globalX site...it probably has more info than I do. I'm at a globalX retreat this weekend, so I will hopefully know more in the next few days.

YEAH FOR AFRICA!!!!!

VIOLATION

Jerry is violating the Birthday hat rules.

oh shoot...

Buckhead Church is bringing it this morning!!! We just had some crazy "Little Drummer Boy" action involving a lot of rock guitar, a lot of really BA drums and some trash cans. I hope Carlos posts some video.

And I just got to watch it on the TV...will definitely be getting into the 11 am service to see that live.

**adding to the post**

Yeah, it was a good time seeing it live. I REALLY REALLY hope Carlos blogs about it. I'm sure he will. Here's a pic that I took with the iPhone (doesn't really do it justice, though!).

an extra thought or two.

these are extra miscellaneous thoughts:

1. my dog is probably the best dog in the world (sorry, pelly...you are great, but how can you resist this face?) the schmoo is so sweet and we have this routine...she's just the best.




2. if you haven't visited my Africa trip website, here's the link...

Michele's Africa trip website
I'm trying to blog fairly regularly as I get updates, so please check back!


3. My new friend, Carlos, was on LA Ink the other night. He just joined the staff at Buckhead Church. I think they are probably replaying the episode on The Learning Channel. It was pretty rad....check it out if you get a chance. He should have some pics and stories from the viewing party posted on his blog. It definitely made me want to get another tattoo. I think I will probably get my leg redone after I get back from Africa. So...I welcome any suggestions. :O) It will be Africa-themed, so fire away.

Alright, I am off to work on a rainy Thursday!